How to Ruin Potential Hangout Spots and Why I'm Tempted to Give up on Boys

I'm new to this city. And with new cities comes the need to explore and the desire to meet new people and to broaden your horizons. I was told that joining organizations helps with this task. So with that knowledge, earlier this fall I attempted to join a young person political organization. The idea was two charged, not only would I be grown up and politically aware and involved, but I could use the opportunity to meet new people and expand my networking base. 

Well that was the hope, it didn't quite happen. 

At the first meeting I met Mr. Politician. He seemed nice enough. Not my usual type, he was kinda pretty boyish (but are not most politicians?) From the beginning, my friends and I were under the firm opinion he was hitting on one of my friends. As it turns out, that is some twisted guy tactic to get with someone else, like diverted flirting or something. I often wonder if that move was in Barney's Playbook and that's where he stole it? I suppose it worked in any case. 

From our conversations he gathered my sweet spot, I'm a sucker for sports. He reeled me in with football tickets. How does someone turn down football tickets? Of course I agreed.

But since I'm not the keenest person when it comes to guys hitting on me, I was not paying super close attention to him at the organization meeting and had no idea of his biggest flaw:

He was short. Like barely taller than me. Short. 

And there was another huge second flaw, he was a member of the opposing political party and was just going to visit a friend. Really???

Because of where I am in life, I thought I could get past these two flaws. I mean he was a politician which implied he had connections, and he seemed like he had good intentions. and he was a great conversationalist (and as it turns out a pretty great kisser too). 

Wrong.

He constantly flaunted his money, his wealth, and his "superior knowledge (which really wasn't but he had a huge ego thing going on)." He tried way too hard to impress me, or well to make up for his lack of height. It was sad. I'm also pretty sure he was a big liar (like not just the usual politician lies, but bigger stuff). He claimed he went to law school, but I could never find anything online to confirm that. Besides, he could not grasp that I'm a full time student, and therefore my time is precious. And if he had gone to law school, I'm sure he would have understood this situation. I tried really hard for three weeks to give him the benefit of the doubt and to make it work somehow, but because I was truly not connecting with him I called it quits. 

As such, I can not go back to that political organization meeting because of the awkwardness that would ensue. 

One hangout spot crossed off the list.

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Usually, a few friends and I go to a local neighborhood bar about once a week. However, this night we went they happened to be closing early and we were feeling the need to de-stress, so we went and explored a new bar. Everything was great, we were feeling the crowd and the beer was about a dollar cheaper than our usual spot (Definitely extra important when you're a student in grad school). 

Then...a guy offered to buy us a round of beer. Well really just me because everyone else had full glasses. We went over and started talking to him. We'll call him Mr. Navy. He was cute. We exchanged numbers. We sent cute text messages. He offered to take me to lunch the next day. 

But...then those cute text messages started to imply that I should go home with him. First and in totality,  I'm not that type of girl. As a friend put it, "you have really high morals." I'm not ashamed of these morals (even though sometimes I often question them). However, I attributed the new spin of intentions to the consumption of liquor and was willing to put it behind us. Likewise, it seemed he did too as he told me to text him in the afternoon to confirm our lunch date.

I did the next day. In return, I got some super awkward small talk. When I asked if we were still on for lunch I received this reply "I ate earlier. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you to ever talk to me again. Ha" (punctuation added by me). I replied "Oh. Awkward." and left it at that. We have not communicated since and his number is now deleted. 

In other words, I got stood up by someone who I didn't even get a chance to impress. 

I'm now uncomfortable returning to that bar, since I was told by the bartender he was a regular. UNLESS however, I go with a really hot guy. Then I'll definitely make a point of returning. You know, to make him see what he missed out on. 

So that makes two places that I can now cross off my potential meeting list. Good thing this is a big city.

In summary, all of these experiences are continuing to add to my big WTF Question Mark over boys. People, as in our great ancestors, say you find the One when you're not looking. But I'm never looking. These encounters find me somehow, and they still suck just as bad as if I was looking. However, I will continue to keep my Disney Glasses on and trust that my Prince Charming is looking for me, whether I'm aware of him or not. If the losers can approach me, maybe he'll be able to as well someday. 

Crushing. Crushing. Hard.

Dear Diary...

I met a boy and he lights up my dark and dreary world...

Just kidding. Well, not completely.

But sometimes I feel like I'm back at that diary writing age. You know when you couldn't look because he'll notice-but then you must over impress because he might be looking- the everything he does is magic phase-completely in love- stars in eyes-skipping instead of walking-can't step on a crack- punch and tease him because it's the closes you'll get to touching him - push some kid off the swing because he said he'll join you-save a place in line for him- share your fruit rollup hoping he'll get the hint- save a carpet rug or chair for story time and lunch/or cot for nap time, beside you for him.

Yes, it was all for him.

That was love as children.

And 8 times out of 10 those boys got the hint but were in a "Girls are gross so I can't publicly acknowledge you" stage.

Yet, he, and them, still ate all the attention up.

And, we were willing to supply it. Again and again.

Because we hoped...

I've been wondering if those days ever end.

I always imagined that once one reaches "adulthood" - that magical age where everything just clicks, the awkward days disappear, acne and bad hair go away, you fit into all of your clothes just right, the universe starts to agree with you, and you become "cool" - all the questions and doubts about boys would suddenly be answered. As if once that day arrives, the plug just enters our brain, we can hear the "click" sound and the power just flows into our minds making all the bad parts of life just disappear.

Then I grew up.

That day of enlightenment will not happen. No matter how many Cosmo's you read (and I read a LOT)

Men are just boys who haven't grown up.

And as much as we hate to admit, we haven't stopped being little girls either.

At least I haven't.

I'm still crushing. And crushing hard.

On a boy.

And I do everything in my power to put my best foot forward hoping he'll notice.

Of course, it's more grown up like. I don't punch, I flirt. Barely, I never was good at that. I don't push people off swings or say you can't sit here anymore either. I just give looks instead.

But there's some acts that don't change, such as fighting for attention, playing cat and mouse, and finding ways to make sure that people knows he's "your" boy.

And 8 times out of 10 those boys still get the hint, but there in a "You make a good friend/You're fun for now/You're one of many/Maybe, someday, not now" stage.

Yet, he, and them, still eat all the attention up.

And, we are willing to supply it. Again and again.

Because we hope...